


a warm embrace

by silverhaechan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Mingyu just wants to be held, Mingyu misses his boyfriend, Platonic Cuddling, Seokmin is here to hold him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 18:49:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18629173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverhaechan/pseuds/silverhaechan
Summary: “If you feel homesick, go spend time in Seokmin’s room.”





	a warm embrace

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't stop thinking about Mingyu telling everyone to go to Seokmin if they wanted to feel at home and comfortable so i had to do /something/ to get it out of my system i guess. probably not good enough to be posted but i tried? anyways.
> 
> op wants to apologize for projecting their feelings and sadness on Mingyu

 

 _"_ _In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out the sun ." - Madeline Miller, The Song Of Achilles_

 

Mingyu can’t sleep. It happens sometimes, thoughts too loud in the dark.

Minghao is in China for a solo schedule and the room is too quiet. The bed seems empty without his boyfriend. His pillow stopped smelling like him after the second night he was away. Mingyu is lonely.

Those are the moments where he misses home the most. He wishes he could be 11 again, crawingl into his parents’ bed because he can’t sleep. His mother always indulged him. She probably would, still.

Mingyu feels like a burden sometimes. Wonders if it annoys others how much he needs the praise and the reassurance. He doesn’t like it, thinking at night. It always makes him question everything. He wants to be held. By his mother, or Minghao. Safe and comfortable. Home.

 Mingyu sleeps with a night lamp on when Minghao is not there. He doesn’t like the dark. He’s a grown man, 6’1, and he doesn’t like the dark. It’s hard being cheerful when he’s afraid of what could be lurking. It’s not monsters he fears. He outgrew that. But his own insecurities always get louder at night.

 He doesn’t want to think about all this. He considers calling Minghao, but he knows the other is already lacking sleep and he doesn’t want to worry him. It only leaves one option.

 

He gets up slowly, still holding Minghao’s pillow against his chest, and makes his way through the dorms as silently as possible. He doesn’t want to wake up anyone.

 He stops before Seokmin’s door, hand on the doorknob, hesitating. He doesn’t want disturb or annoy him. Mingyu feels like he takes up too much space sometimes, both literally and figuratively. Maybe he should just get back to his own bed. He doesn’t want to.

 He stands there for what feels like an hour, clutching onto Minghao’s pillow like it’s a lifeline in the middle of the ocean.

 He opens the door, very quietly, very slowly. Seokmin looks like he’s sleeping. His room is never dark because he sleeps with the curtains opened. The room smells like Mingyu’s childhood home, and he wonders if it’s his imagination or if Seokmin and his mother use the same products. He’s not clutching the pillow anymore.

 The door creaks a little as he opens it more, and Seokmin’s head pops up. Mingyu wonders if he was awake. They all sleep deeply, you have to as an idol, and this shouldn’t have been enough to wake him up.

 

Seokmin doesn’t say anything but he lifts the covers of the bed, inviting Mingyu in.

Seokmin’s bed is pushed against the wall on one side. When Mingyu gets in his bed, he always chooses the side against the wall. It makes him feel safer.

Mingyu is filled with relief as he slips under the covers. The bed feels warm, welcoming.

He’s still holding Minghao’s pillow against his chest, facing Seokmin, back to the wall.

 Seokmin moves to get closer to him, extending his arms. He knows exactly what the other wants but isn’t asking.

Mingyu smiles sheepishly at the invitation, forgetting that Seokmin can’t see him well enough to know that he is. He whispers a soft thank you as he turns around so that Seokmin is spooning him.

 Seokmin uses his right arm to bring Mingyu closer and let’s it there, around Mingyu’s waist, a solid reminder that he’s being held. Mingyu is thankful.

 

“I’m sorry for waking you up.”

“Don’t worry I woke up a little while ago because I was thirsty, you didn’t wake me up.” Seokmin answers.

 

Seokmin is using his left hand to card through Mingyu’s hair gently. He starts humming a lullaby, one Mingyu’s mother used to sing to him, and he wonders if he’s going to cry. His arms are holding Minghao’s pillow as if it’s a shield against the rest of the world.

 Seokmin notices the other tensing. “Is it his pillow?” He asks, as quietly as possible.

 

Minghao’s and Mingyu’s transition from best friends to lovers had been easy. So easy that it had made Mingyu realise they’d been acting as lovers for years already. Junhui had been the first one to notice, of course, because Junhui knows Minghao better than Minghao knows himself. They had planned several ways to tell the rest of the group. Well, Mingyu had, because Mingyu had been scared and planning helped rationalising the moment. Minghao had always been more comfortable with this part of himself. None of his plans had ever been put to use though, because they slipped in front of everyone. On an early morning, Minghao not yet fully awake, pressing a kiss to his lips to thank him for the warm cup of coffee in his hands. Mingyu’s little smile, before he had realised they were in the kitchen with everyone else. And then an excruciating silence that had felt like years despite lasting barely 15 seconds before Junhui had saved the day, teasing, “I guess that’s one way to announce it.” Everyone had laughed, and just like that it was done. Easier than any of Mingyu’s possible scenario.

It’s been a few months now, but Mingyu still isn’t comfortable with displays of affection when its more than the 2 of them. Or the two of them and Junhui. He doesn’t talk about Minghao as often as he used to before, never initiates it.

 Mingyu nods to answer Seokmin’s question. The other can’t see him but he’s close enough that he felt him moving. He keeps playing with his hair, humming.

“You know you can talk to me about him. To all of us.” His hand halts on Mingyu’s head for a moment, as he searches for the right words. “Our acceptance isn’t something limited, you’re not going to cross a line that would make us change our minds by saying you miss him when he’s not there. We’re happy for you, we’re happy when you’re happy.”

 Mingyu lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

 “So when I ask you if that’s his pillow, you can tell me it’s hard when he’s away. You don’t have to, but you can.”

 Mingyu thinks Seokmin’s words and embrace are like a warm cup of cocoa on a cold day, or like his mother smiling at him and telling him he was going to be fine after he hurt his knee when he was a kid.

 “You’re not him but your hugs are pretty nice too.” He hopes Seokmin can’t hear him sniffling.

 Seokmin chuckles. “He’ll be back soon. You can sleep here until then if you want. You know my arms are always opened.”

 

Mingyu wonders sometimes, how many members come to Seokmin when they’re lonely. He’s so vibrant and warm, their own personal source of light, and he likes to take care of everyone, never expecting anything in return. Mingy hopes there’s someone to take care of him the same way.

“Thank you. You can always knock on our door too, if you need company. This goes both ways.” Mingyu’s voice comes out muffled by the pillow.

 “I’ll make sure to knock!” Seokmin answers, teasing. Mingyu’s glad the other can’t see him blush.

 “Sleep now, I’m right here with you.” Seokmin starts humming again. Another familiar melody.

 

Mingyu thinks that Seokmin will make a great lover and a great father one day. He doesn’t voice it out, sleep slowly taking over him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading i guess??
> 
> you can find me on twitter @silverhaechan


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